Parents are infamous for being uptight about things relating to their children. Usually it’s the worst with the first child, as new parents don’t know how they want to go about raising their child, so they tend to put more boundaries on things and place more pressure on performance and behavior because they want their child to reflect that they were raised by parents who knew what they were doing.

As the children continue to be born, the strict rules have a tendency to become less regularly enforced. The second child is often allowed to do more things at a younger age and by the time the third child comes around, the parents have become different people all together and the rules that were enforced upon the first child are practically non-existent, which is a point of contention for the eldest that was raised in a much harsher environment.

In any case, if you’re a parent who tends to be a little overzealous about things pertaining to your child, and you’re wondering if your child is developing at a normal pace, here are ways you can tell:

Is There A Functional Problem?

You’ll get the answers you’re looking for by asking questions. The first of which would be asking yourself if you’re seeing a functional problem with your child. You might see that your child isn’t walking like your friend’s child is and they’re close to the same age, but remember that all children develop at rapidly different paces and have aptitudes for different things.

Just because your child might be behind another doesn’t mean that they’re unhealthy or that something is wrong with them. To answer the question of whether or not your child is developing in a healthy manner, look at the major functional things first. Are they showing signs they might need assistance with hearing? Do they look at you when you pass their line of sight? Are they eating well or not eating well for a significant amount of time? Does their poop look normal? These are the things to look for.

Are There Relational Problems?

Once you get past the functional issues like hearing loss, or the ability to make cognitive connections, you should then look at your child relationally. When your child is young, you won’t know about any disorders behaviorally or mentally, but you can keep an eye out on how they’re interacting with their environment. Is your child bonded to mama, but doesn’t let dad get close?

Try setting boundaries and having dad practice skin to skin contact while holding the baby to establish more of a connection. Does your child do well with animals or other children? These are all things to watch out for. If there’s a red flag that is worth noting, you’ll feel the urgency of it. Otherwise, relax and enjoy being a parent and watching your child grow and develop in their own person.