A common misconception is that a divorce is one single, all-defining event. The build-up to it can get messy, then once the paperwork is filed and the marriage is terminated, it all fades into the past.

The truth is, a divorce is not an event. It is a process. No matter how amicable the divorce is, or how messy it gets, there will be ups and downs. Moments of sincere sadness, but also many moments of hope and excitement.

The road to divorce is emotionally taxing. It is often difficult to keep a sense of perspective on the situation. These are our favourite survival tips for surviving divorce and grieving after a lost marriage.

Reconnect with Friends 

Married life can become all-encompassing. You fall into a rhythm, often leaving limited time for friends. In the wake of a divorce, it is important to reconnect with friends and find avenues for support wherever possible.

Aside from the extensive support your friends can offer, you may find yourself with significantly more free time after you separate from your partner. What better way to spend it than investing in friends and strengthening human relationships?

Forgive Yourself 

After a lost marriage, it is normal to spend hours fussing over the “what ifs” and “what could have beens”. However, these questions rattling around your brain are not helpful.

Living in the past and wondering where it all went wrong only detracts from the present. The fact is, your marriage is over. Instead of dwelling on your marriage, forgive yourself, turn your attention to the present and the future, and concentrate on moving forward.

Get a Lawyer Immediately 

Even if the split was amicable, and your situation is more of a “conscious uncoupling” than an all-out war, it is still important to get seek out legal counsel.

Divorce can turn even the meekest, most honorable person into a wild-eyed animal. Going into a courtroom without legal help is setting yourself up for failure. Contact an attorney who specialises in divorce. If you need help, contact the Law Office of Jody L. Fisher.

Do Something New 

A divorce is the closing of a chapter of your life. To get in the spirit of moving forward and writing the next chapter, do something new. Take up a new hobby, upgrade the car, or get a new haircut.

If there has been something you always wanted to do but never had the time or resources to do it, now is the time. Now is your chance to indulge yourself.

See a Counsellor 

Divorce can get too much. Seeing a counsellor doesn’t mean admitting defeat. It means taking care of yourself and equipping yourself with the necessary tools to help cope.

On the bad days, seeing a counsellor to talk through some concerns can give you a much-needed boost.

Coming to terms with a divorce takes time and bucketloads of patience. Take each day at a time. When the bad days come, use this list to adjust your perspective and keep your mindset focused on the future and the hope and opportunity it brings.