Getting a divorce is, unquestionably, going to be one of the most stressful times of your life. Between your regular daily activities, your work, childcare arrangements, trips to your divorce solicitor in London, and the turmoil of emotions you now have, there’s no time left at the end of the day for you.
As London divorce lawyers, we see a constant stream of overstretched and exhausted women coming through our doors on a regular basis. Not only have they no time to look after themselves, they haven’t got the energy to look after anyone else, either. It’s not just a phrase you hear on Oprah, it really is important to put yourself first. Once you take care of your emotional and physical health, looking after the other things in your life will become so much easier. Everything from playing with your children, to dealing with your divorce solicitor in London will fall into place as your head becomes clearer, your sleep pattern sorts itself, and you rediscover your love of life once more.
“Getting Through” Isn’t Good Enough
When you talk to your friends about your divorce, pay attention to the language that you’re using. If you find yourself saying things like “I’m getting through”, “I’m holding up”, or the worst: “I’m fine”, then take a moment to hear the words you’re saying. It’s important to find a therapist you’re comfortable with, who can help you deal with the emotions you’re going through.
When experiencing a divorce, it’s tempting to rely on friends and family to support you. Despite the fact they love you, they’re going to find it hard to really help you through the issues you’re experiencing. However well you think you’re coping, it’s never so well that at least a couple of therapy sessions aren’t important. Often your London divorce lawyer can recommend one who’s in your area, so you don’t need to add extra travel time to your week.
Look After Yourself to Look After Your Kids
Being bitter is part of most divorces, but it’s important to deal with it before it spreads out to other areas of your life, like your children. Unless they were abusive, whatever your ex did is between them and you, and they’re still a loving parent who deserve to be a part of their children’s life.
When you talk about their other parent in front of your children, be mindful of the language you’re using. It could be that you’re unconsciously causing parental alienation syndrome, which will cause problems down the line when your kids don’t want to spend time with their other parent. An important stage in divorce is learning how to be alone again: without your ex, and without your children when they’re staying with their other parent. It’s not fair on your children to put the burden of looking after you on them.
If you’re worried that you’re not taking enough time to help your children through divorce, ask yourself some crucial questions to establish if you could be doing more. Not only will this make things easier for them, but easier for you as you worry less and have less anger and acting out from them.
Find Yourself a Good London Divorce Lawyer
The best divorce lawyers in London have benefits which go beyond the courtroom. When you start thinking of getting divorced, the first thing you do is find a divorce lawyer. Rather than taking recommendations from a friend, remember that each one is different. Most will offer free consultations, so you can find a divorce lawyer you work well with. You need someone you can trust and be honest with, so you can work efficiently together.
A good divorce solicitor in London will keep you realistic, but also fight in your corner when it comes to things like child care arrangements, alimony, and your divorce settlement. If you get good child care arrangements, it will free you up further for looking after yourself. With those extra few evenings a week you can reconnect with old friends, take up the hobbies you used to do, or simply stay at home with Netflix and a bottle of wine, enjoying your own company.
If you’re saying that you’ll ‘do it tomorrow’ when it comes to looking after yourself, then it’s time to make that tomorrow a today. Pick up the phone, call an old friend, and put on your nice clothes. It’s time to start looking after yourself and enjoying life again.